Plato Shrimp / Meet J.D. Vance

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 10:30 pm

You asked for it, America, and you got it! Democracy! Let's get to know the man one millimeter of air away from being Commander in Chief of the United States of America.

A fetching lad even before life went to color, he is well–remembered by former classmates for bragging about having logged the most succubus attacks in a single school year.

Last edited by Rampop II (11/07/2024 10:51 pm)

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 10:41 pm

Vance writes in his memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, that his Appalachian upbringing was characterized by poverty, childlessness, and abuse.

Not much is known about his estranged first wife, Guartwish.

**Posted by Jinnistan** 11/07/2024 10:46 pm

I like where this is going...

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 10:46 pm

[caption needed]

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 10:50 pm

Jinnistan wrote:
I like where this is going...

Feel free to jump in.

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 10:50 pm

"Milk it!!!"

**Posted by Jinnistan** 11/07/2024 10:55 pm

Rampop II wrote:
Jinnistan wrote:
I like where this is going...
Feel free to jump in.

Any nude lawn-munching?

**Posted by Rock** 11/07/2024 11:00 pm

LOL’d as soon as I opened the thread.

Good stuff. Keep going.

**Posted by Jinnistan** 11/07/2024 11:07 pm

Vance's mentor and guardian, Peter Thiel. (A.I. Image Optimization)

**Posted by Jinnistan** 11/07/2024 11:11 pm

"Those couch cushions had it coming."

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 11:15 pm

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 11:29 pm

Cleaning up his act, Vance became more active in the church...

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 11:30 pm

...and volunteered countless hours to the cause of ending childlessness.

**Posted by Jinnistan** 11/07/2024 11:32 pm

JD Vance = the shittiest Darkman villain?

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 11:39 pm

Yes, those were the acid years, weren't they? I mean, look at those pupils.

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/07/2024 11:52 pm

His real father, J.D. Vansh, wants absolutely nothing to do with him.

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/08/2024 12:00 am

(last known photo; presumed to be in protective custody under the RCMP)

Last edited by Rampop II (11/08/2024 12:01 am)

**Posted by crumbsroom** 11/08/2024 12:00 am

lol

**Posted by Rampop II** 11/08/2024 1:04 am

Was it thence his tragic lifetime of nude lawn–munching was borne?

**Posted by Jinnistan** 11/08/2024 1:16 am

The brief bud lite and bath salt bender of 2012.