Jinnistan wrote:

crumbsroom wrote:

I too would by the real deal though.

But what I mean is that Weekly World News was not the "real deal" either.  I'm not sure what percentage of its readers believed it was, but most of those readers that I knew, and myself, could easily see the satire.

I think this portion of the Wiki is indicative:

"A Scientist" is typically shown and quoted. He was known as "A Scientist" to distinguish him from A Baffled Scientist.

It's pretty Python-level stuff.

Oh, I know. It's a giant piss take. I only mean 'real' as in it exists in the real world. Not only the strange middle ground between dream and reality that is government funded television in Canada.

crumbsroom wrote:

Hey, Rampop, maybe you can start littering the movie forums with Louie Del Grande gifs.
Just claim youre a True Believer and I'm sure you can get away with anything there. As long as there isn't any cussing. Or talk of Christ boners. Or slut shaming Jordan Peterson.
 

I'm game. 

All the glory goes to Aubrey Plaza for elevating this otherwise ok crime flick to something truly worthwhile. 

Say the title fast ten times. 
 

Last edited by Rampop II (10/02/2022 8:59 am)

Jinnistan wrote:

Made me both shower and decline my garlic/soy/hoison chicken dish due to its somewhat viscous brown excre-texture.  Compelling stuff. 

'Tis rare and compelling stuff indeed to come between JJ and his chicken!
Possibly the highest accolade any film can receive? I can envision it flanked by palm fronds. 

I'd like to see a movie promotional campaign with lots of those frond–flanked accolades, but fake ones that are only discernible as such upon close inspection, like "These are palm fronds" or "Made me both shower and decline my garlic/soy/hoison chicken dish due to its somewhat viscous brown excre-texture." 

Rock wrote:

Godzilla vs. Kong
Top Gun
Demonoid

   😂 I laughed my lungs out at this scene:


😂 😂 😂

Then my guts came guffawing out as well when I saw the countless YouTube comments like:
"I burst into tears seeing this for the first time," 
“Man Kong is so smart,” 
and 
"I really sympathize with Kong as he only wants a home and someone or something to love him….because how can you not love a giant powerful, but gentle gorilla!!!! THIS IS WHY I’M TEAM KONG TIL I DIE!!!!!!"

Stop, YouTubers, you're killing me!!! I ain't got nothin' left to laugh up but my nuts!
🤣🤣🤣

Rampop II wrote:

“Man Kong is so smart,”

legit lol'd at this

Rock wrote:

The Velvet Vampire

I agree that the film is pretty boring, and that Michael Blodgett is really bad, but I think he may have been my favorite part of the film simply because it made me consistently giggle how bad he was.

My first rewatch of this film that was not from a Youtube rip from a 30-year-old VHS tape.  Whatever can be said about the film's low budget and somewhat amateurish cast is even more irrelevant, and the economy of the modest FX budget, relying on mildy psychedelic flashes, proves to be even more ingenious and inspired.  (And bonus points for stealing that one scene from "Thriller".)

For the uninitiated, a smallband of settlers under a religious pariah leader settle into a wilderness valley that (*foreshadowing*) the local Shawnee refuse to enter and which appears to be mysteriously abandoned.  For added fun, the group is accompanied by a young psychic - a witch! - who provides both warnings and advice.  One of the jewels, and only American film, of the recent box set of uncovered previously obscure 'folk horror' films, All The Haunts Be Ours.

8.5/10




Another rewatch.  I saw this one maybe four or five years back, and didn't remember too much about it, so I thought I'd give it a revisit.  Normally a "Baba Yaga" is a mythical Polish witch which literally translates to something like "grandmother serpent".  This film isn't really interested in exploring Slavic folklore, so the Baba Yaga here is used as a convenience to tellanother version of the Carmilla vampire tale, where an elder mysterious woman with strong lesbian allures (an impressive Carroll Baker) becomes enmeshed in the lives of a young hip Italian couple.  The film is also a more direct adaptation of the late-60s erotic/S&M Italian comic strip Valentina.



So chalk it up maybe to the relative deluge of erotic, seductive and highly hypnotic variations of sexy S&M vampire films from this early 70s era that this particular film does seem less memorable than many of the others, but well worth seeking out for fans of the genre.


For a brief recap of some of the better, of the many, takes on Carmilla, which is perhaps the most influential vampire tale outside of Dracula (except that Carmilla happened to be the primary influence for that as well):

Blood and Roses (1960)



Terror in the Crypt (1964)



Daughters of Darkness (1971)



The Blood-Spattered Bride (1972)



All of the above four films would fit into a snug 8-9/10 ranking from me.


More on par with Baba Yaga would be the Hammer take on the material from this time, The Vampire Lovers (1970).


Both this and Baba Yaga I'd place at 7.5/10

And further down we get the sequel to the above, Lust For a Vampire (1971)


6/10

And, finally at the bottom, a film with a game Carmilla in Celeste Yarnall, but is otherwise pretty drab and slow, The Velvet Vampire (1971)


5.5/10

(I'm sure that Jess Franco's lesbian vampire films derived in one way or another from Carmilla as well, considering how it is the lingua franca of the sizable subgenre, but I'm frankly not going to bother with them here.)
 

Jinnistan wrote:

It's a testament to the good will that Harry Dean Stanton has earned throughout his life and career that hardly anyone wants to point out how silly this film's attempts at profundity are.  It really isn't Stanton's fault (in his final film, the 90-year old seems to be struggling with some of his line readings), so I'll say some of the unevenness is probably first-time director John Carroll Lynch, doing his best imitation of Jarmusch, irreverently low-key with a streak of deadpan surrealism.  Jarmusch probably could have gotten more convincing weeping out of David Lynch.  But, as I said, as a tribute to the life and vibe of the man, any criticisms are easy to forgive, and the film works better in its smaller weirder moments ("There goes your goddamn Buick"), and, even if it is basically a modest vanity project, who better to deserve his own vanity project than Harry Dean Stanton, especially when he has no interest in having any vanity about it.

7.5/10
 

I feel this is pretty much my exact opinion on this one.

Still nice watching a half enbalmed Stanton still smoking until his last gasp though. Or acting. Or simply existing amongst us mortals.
 

Jinnistan wrote:

crumbsroom wrote:

Tentacles 3/10 (a hilariously inept yacht race was not enough to rescue this almost total piece of shit...unfortunate since I generally like this guys general rip off ethos)

Is this the one with John Huston?

Ha.  I've seen both, but I was thinking of scenes from The Bermuda Triangle instead.  Both are pretty wasted rip-offs.